Question: Can a woman marry without
the consent of her parents/guardian?
Answer: The word Nika#h@
(marriage) in the Arabic language means a declared union
between a man and woman to live willingly as a husband and wife
forever. Islam gives two additional directives in this regard, which though
are not conditions of this union, yet may be instrumental in its annulment,
if a lack of their compliance has no sound basis. These two additional
directives are:
i) The marriage should be according to the customs and
traditions of the society (See 2:232).
ii) The husband is required to pay a certain mutually
agreed sum called Mahr (dower) to his bride before the Nika#h@
ceremony (See 2:236-7)
According to the customs and traditions
of an Islamic society, the consent and presence of the parents/ guardians
is an understood norm. Islam regards the institution of family as the basic
unit of a society and stresses that it is the need of every individual
if his life is viewed as a whole. Man is basically a weak and an insecure
being. He has spiritual as well as material needs. If he needs to develop
a strong relationship with the Almighty to fulfil his spiritual needs,
he needs to develop a strong relationship with his fellow human beings
to meet his material needs, which may be physical, emotional and psychological.
His family and clan fulfil these needs. Couples who live in isolation are
deprived of this support. Consequently, the consent of the parents, who
are the foremost guardians, is something extremely important in a marriage.
It is in the interest of the couple to be part of a larger family. In this
regard, if on the one hand, the children must respect the wishes of their
parents, on the other hand, the parents should not impose their wishes
on the children. A difference of opinion in this regard should be settled
with magnanimity and accommodation on the part of the parents unless of
course they have some sound grounds in opposing such a marriage. The Prophet
(sws) also while explaining this social stance of Islam is reported to
have remarked:
It is not proper that a Nika#h@*
solemnise unless it takes place through the guardian, and if someone does
not have a guardian, the ruler of the Muslims is his guardian. (Tirmidhi#,
Kita#b al-Nika#h@)
However, as is evident from the H@adi#th
also, there can always be an exception to this general principle. If
a man and a woman feel that the rejection on the part of the parents has
no sound reasoning behind it or that the parents, owing to some reason,
are not appreciating the grounds of this union, they have all the right
to take this matter to the courts. It is now up to the court to analyse
and evaluate the whole affair. If it is satisfied with the stance of the
man and woman, it can give a green signal to them. In this case, as is
apparent from the H@adi#th,
the state shall be considered the guardian of the couple. On the other
hand, if the court is of the view that the stand of the parents is valid,
it can stop the concerned parties from engaging in wedlock. Similarly,
if a case is brought before the judicial forums in which the marriage has
taken place without the consent of the parents, it is up to the court to
decide the fate of such a liaison. If it is not satisfied with the grounds
of this union, it can order for their separation and if it is satisfied,
it can endorse the decision taken by the couple.
It is evident from this discussion
that the consent of the parents/guardian is not a legal requirement to
solemnize a marriage. However, since this consent is an accepted norm of
an Islamic society and since according to the Qur’a#n
the norms of a society themselves must be taken into consideration
in marriage, therefore a lack of this consent can annul a marriage if it
has no sound basis in the eyes of the court. |