Question: Why
are mothers regarded to be superior to fathers as parents? After all both
share in the upbringing and development of a child?
Answer: The
basic reason to regard a mother superior to a father seems to be that generally
the sacrifices made and hardships borne by her easily outnumber the
contribution made by her counterpart in this regard. Of course there may
be exceptions to this principle, but they are few and far between.
The Qur’an says:
And We have enjoined on man about his parents -- in travail
upon travail did his mother bear him and in two years was his weaning --
that show gratitude to Me and your parents. (31:14)
And We have enjoined upon man to show kindness to his
parents. In pain did his mother bear him and in pain did she give him birth.
(46:15)
No doubt a father has a great role in
the upbringing and development of his offspring. However, the pain and
hardship a mother goes through before and right after child birth gives
her a marked edge over the father. Consequently, based on these verses,
some Ahadith also say that a mother’s right is three times as much
as a father’s.
Abu Hurayrah reports that once a person came to
the Prophet and asked ‘Who deserves the most virtuous behaviour from me’.
The Prophet replied: ‘Your mother’. The person then inquired: ‘Then who’.
The Prophet replied: ‘Your mother’. The person further inquired: ‘Then
who’. The Prophet replied: ‘Your mother’. The person once again asked:
‘Then who’. The Prophet replied: ‘Your father’. (Bukhari, Kitabu’l-Adab)
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