Question: I feel some doubts
arising in my mind. May be you can clear them up by answering the following
questions: i. Whenever anyone says anything that teases me, I feel like
replying to him on the spot so that he realizes that he has teased the
wrong person. Unfortunately when I don’t do so, this incident remains in
my mind for a long period of time and depresses me. Why is that so?, ii.
I want to get famous. But my luck would not favour me.
Answer: I am afraid I do not
think that this type of reaction is solely specific to you. It is an ailment
from which the majority of us suffers. Nevertheless, we must strive our
utmost to overcome this ailment. As your very words ‘he realizes he has
teased the wrong person’ suggest, it is actually our wounded ego that causes
us to react: we do not want to look small; hate to be defeated virtually
in any arena; wish to always stand one step up over the rest and despise
to see anything happen against our taste or liking. In a nutshell, we yearn
that nothing should ever go beyond the well-demarcated circle of our wishes
and preferences.
However, a close perusal of interpersonal
relations and behavioral studies shows that humans, collectively as well
as individually, are bound to unexpectedly face unbecoming attitudes from
their relations, friends and other fellows. The reason being every person
has a different temperament and it is a fact that the habit of losing temper
can never be obliterated no matter how hard we try though the extent and
intensity of losing temper can be kept to the minimal. Thus, it is useless
to think that we will ever be able to obviate completely the possibility
of losing temper. However, it is very desirable that we learn how to hold
back when we happen to be fuming with rage. The soothing reality that should
help us hold our temper and forgive the offender is that whatever agony
that we have to suffer is sure to bring us reward in the Hereafter. The
Holy Prophet (sws) is reported to have said:
No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor hurt,
nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from
a thorn but Allah expiates some of his sins for that. (Bukhari:
No, 5210)
In an other Hadith, the Prophet
(sws) is reported to have said that brave is indeed the person who holds
back when offended. The Prophet Jesus (sws) has explicated the same trait
in the sublime words that follow:
But whosoever shall slap you on your right cheek,
turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue you at the law, and
take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. And whosoever shall
compel you to go a mile, go with him twain. (Mathew, 5:39-41)
He (sws) then explained that it is only
befitting for a believer to forgive his offenders than to avenge his sufferings:
But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless
them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which
despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Mathew, 5:44)
The reason he (sws) offers for treating
the enemies well is very thought provoking: if you love those who love
you back, then there is nothing outstanding within your persona. It is
only when they hate you that you pray for them and always wish good for
them.
For if you love them which love you, what reward
have you? Do not even the publicans the same? And if you salute your brethren
only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the publicans so? Be
you therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
(Mathew, 5:46-8)
So when you feel depressed that you have
not responded to the ill treatment of some other person, you should convince
yourself that holding back and forgiving others are indeed the virtues
that great Prophets of Allah have exhorted us to imbibe and practice. In
addition, always keep in mind that these virtues will bring you everlasting
reward in the Hereafter. I know this is a hard task. One is bound to err
many times before one learns how to behave properly. But I assure you that
every step, that you take to get over with this ailment, will bring you
closer to Allah; and He will definitely help you stand upright. It only
demands determination and commitment from your side to adhere to the virtues
of forgiveness and excuse.
As far as your second question is
concerned, I see nothing wrong with your aspirations to get famous in this
world. However, the way you are taking it on your soul does sound a warning
to me as your well-wisher. This will surely get you down and may well turn
you into a worthless broken species if, God forbid, you fail drastically
to achieve what you have undertaken to. Did it ever occur to you that you
perhaps have not specified a good goal for your efforts to be targeted
at? I mean there is some better goal I can assure you that you will definitely
hit even when your efforts are proved fruitless in this world. We have
no control or authority to alter the game of life in the present world:
we are bound with many different restrictions that we sometimes cannot
go forward one step when we exhaust all our energy. I fully concede that
everyone who invests his best efforts eventually comes to reap the benefits
as well in this very world. But then odds are enough that this may not
be the case with every single human being. This is how the world has been
designed. Only one person can be the president of Pakistan though there
may be more than one who is eligible enough to assume the seat. I do not
deny that a person can be famous through one hundred thousands means nor
do I wish to demoralize you. However, the stark reality to which I wish
to allude is that ‘what if you fail?’ This uncertainty exhibits that this
field is not worth spending energies and time. The Holy Qur’an has
provided us with an alternative arena. And I tell you that you will never
fail once you sincerely set out in this arena to lead a life portrayed
by the Book of Allah.
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