Question: I found out recently
that my wife has been secretly taking money from my account and sending
it to her parents in Pakistan. I do not know for how long she has been
doing this but I have found it out only recently. I am thinking of giving
her a divorce and marrying someone else. Please advise me.
Answer: There are a few things
that you need to put in their correct perspective.
Firstly, I believe that if your wife’s
family was in need of some financial help, you should have made an effort
to find that out and cater for it somehow so that this whole issue should
not have arisen in the first place.
Having said this, I do not mean to
justify the fact that without consulting you your wife should have tried
to help her family out on her own using your money. The fact remains that
she did something inappropriate; but you should try to investigate why
her family needed or indeed, perhaps, still is, in need of financial help.
If there is or has been a dire need then perhaps it is not entirely her
fault. However, if on other occasions, you have given her money when she
asked for it without hesitation, then she had no reason to keep you in
the dark about this particular issue.
In short, you will have to assess
your own behavior towards her in financial matters to see whether you,
inadvertently or deliberately, gave her a reason to avoid you in her apparent
moment of need.
Secondly, you are considering divorce
and a second marriage because of this issue. This, I believe, is not a
good decision. You should discuss this whole issue with her from beginning
to end and find out what led to it in the first place. In any case, I think
that you need to discuss this whole problem with her completely before
taking such drastic a decision. Your children will inevitably suffer if
you choose to divorce her and go for a second marriage. You do not have
a responsibility towards your wife alone but towards your children as well.
And both these responsibilities demand that you thoroughly discuss this
problem with your wife to ascertain whether indeed it is impossible for
you to continue this partnership.
In the end I must emphasize that this
is merely a suggestion and you should earnestly pray to Allah for His help
and guidance in deciding this matter and indeed all other matters.
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