If we minutely observe our universe,
it becomes evident that the Almighty has created everything in pairs. Both
members of a pair complement one another and there exists a tremendous
amount of affinity between the two. The poise and balance necessary to
create harmony and concordance in this relationship are very delicate,
and a slight divergence can damage it beyond restoration. One of the members
plays an active and dominant role and the other a passive and acquiescent
one. In case, a piece of paper does not submit to the initiative taken
by the pen, no writing can come into existence. If the pen smoothly slides
across the sheet of paper, it can create a masterpiece, and if it harshly
scrapes on it, it will only tear it apart.
Man and woman, perhaps, are one of
the perfect examples of such ‘paired-creation’. When they interact with
one another, it is in their own well being that harmony and concordance
result. But then what should be the nature of this interaction? Islam has
always insisted that marriage is the only legitimate form of this interaction
so that the institution of family becomes the basic unit of a society.
The reason for this is that man is
basically a weak and an insecure being. He has spiritual as well as material
needs. Just as he needs to develop a strong relationship with the Almighty
to fulfill his spiritual needs, he also needs to develop a strong relationship
with his fellow human beings to fulfill his material needs. Thus a man
and a woman must come together in a permanent bond of wedlock to create
a family to fulfill these material needs which may be physical, emotional
and psychological. A man and a woman, taken separately, are incomplete
in their existence. Both need each other to fill the voids of their personalities.
There are some responsibilities which only a man can fulfill and others
which only a woman can. Furthermore, since these requirements are everlasting,
any temporary relationship between a man and a woman can never be truly
fruitful. The Qur’an thus says that marriage is a means of solace
and comfort for both of them:
And among His signs is that He created for you
mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquility with them
and He has planted love and kindness between you. (30:21)
Besides providing peace and tranquility
to the spouses, the role a family set-up plays in fulfilling the needs
of the individual born to a family is apparent to every keen eye.
Further, in order to safeguard the
institution of family, Islam has given a number of directives for the protection
and preservation of the family. Some of these directives are referred to
below.
It says that a man and a woman must
come together in a permanent bond of marriage and must not indulge in extra-marital
relationships since they dismember the institution of family. It prescribes
severe punishments for people who are guilty of adultery and ostracizes
them from the society.
It lays down a whole code of social
etiquette and communal conduct to safeguard and protect chastity and modesty
which themselves are necessary for the well-being of a family set-up.
It regards the husband as head of
the family because his temperament and disposition are more suited for
this task.
It is of the view that all differences
of opinion between the husband and wife should generally be resolved in
an atmosphere of mutual trust and confidence. However, if a situation of
anarchy and disorder arises which threatens to disrupt the whole family
set-up, the wife must adopt an attitude of submission and adjustment.
It invests the husband with certain
powers to deal with a wife who adopts a rebellious attitude and stands
up against his authority, just as an affectionate mother has the authority
to admonish her children to correct them.
It holds the parents responsible for
the proper upbringing of their children.
It urges the children to be very kind
and compassionate to their parents, especially in old age.
It says that if ever a divorce is
to end a family set-up, a certain prescribed procedure should be followed
in letter and spirit since this procedure ensures that the dissolution
of marriage passes through an interim phase in which the decision has ample
time to be reconsidered.
It maintains that if a divorced woman
intends to start a new family, her former husband or his relatives must
in no way obstruct her. |